Well, it's been quite a while since I last updated my blog and a lot has happened since then. I may get around to writing about it sometime, but for now I begin to write again because of the thoughts I have been having lately that I feel like I need to write about. And while I will probably be trying to still figure out exactly what I have been feeling while I write this, hopefully this will help me to get my thoughts together.
So lately, I've been thinking about who I have been this semester. I think about who I am whenever I am in class, when I am with the RFCs, when I am with a smaller group of friends, when I am in a one on one setting with someone, and when I am alone. And as I look at all these at once, I find it hard to tell which one is the real me. Some are like the others, while some seem to be as different as possible. But why is that?
A few weeks ago, I gave a sermon at a small church that the RFCs visited on a Sunday morning. My sermon was based on the idea that as Christians we no longer have an identity that is our own, but a true identity that is given to us by God. Colossians 3:12-14 says: "12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Paul tells us here that God has chosen us, we are his holy people, and he loves us dearly. This is our identity in Christ, and through that identity we are able to be compassionate and kind and all of the other things Paul writes. But how do you live out this identity? The answer to that question I do not think is an easy one, but the retreat the RFCs had last weekend helped me understand even more what that identity meant.
Last weekend, I had the wonderful privilege to attend the RFC fall retreat. This year the theme for the retreat was genuine discipleship. We talked about how just claiming the title of Christians is good, but we are called to be disciples of Christ. We looked at scriptures of how we must produce fruits and show our love for others. John 13:35 reads: "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." And I think the retreat and preparing my sermon are two things that have really helped me see where I am at in my life.
I was talking to a good friend of mine just last night. Now then, a lot of time whenever I talk to her I feel like she may get annoyed, something that if I told her in real life she would hit me for saying, since I tend to let her do most of talking whenever we get a chance to have a conversation. But the other night I never felt once like it was bad I wasn't talking that much, something that has been rare this year I think. And then I finally realized what I had been doing wrong for much of this semester, something another wise friend of mine had told me just a few weeks ago, that I had been trying to make my identity into what I wanted it to be, instead of being the person God had created me to be.
I will try to explain what I mean by my last statement. At the beginning of this semester, I had told myself I was going to try to be more outgoing. I wasn't going to just be the quiet guy anymore and I was going to get out there and talk to more people and make sure to try and get everyone involved in the RFC as much as I could. And while I first I felt like this was a good change, I soon started to just tire myself out trying to be this person. And whenever I tried to be quiet again, I would feel like the people around me would think that something was wrong with me or that I was weird for not talking and so I would stop and just go back to trying to be something I wasn't again. And in the end I would just feel so exhausted that it would effect not only my relationships with others, but also my relationship with God. I would tell myself I was too tired to read my bible or to even just talk to God some nights, and that is something I know can never happen.
This is why I decided to write this blog. Last year, even though I was still confused at times, I feel like I knew who I was for the most part, and something that always helped me last year was to get all my thoughts out in my blog. And this is also why I have decided to make a change in my life. To start to listen more like I use to, be there for the people I care about most in this life, and try my best to love others as Jesus told us to do. God has given us all talents, and while that does not mean I can't develop new talents, I still have to work to prefect the ones he has given me first.
So what does that mean for me now? It means that I will work even harder to grow my relationship with God. It means I will make sure to listen more to the people in my life and try my best to help them in any way I can. It doesn't mean that I will not talk anymore, but that I will take more time to consider what I say and when I say it. It means that I may have to take some time to myself some days and no hang out with my friends. It means that I can't let what other people think about me, or at least what I think they think about me, affect who I am. Most importantly, it means that I'm taking the identity God has given to heart and letting him work through me the way he intended to. Oh, and it means that I will try my best to make my smile not something that I just have because I usually do, but because I am truly happy with who I am and my relationship with God and others.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
You learn things in college, who knew?
So my first year of college is now completed. I ended up getting 1 B, but hey it had to happen sometime right? Anyways, my freshman year has certainly been interesting to say the least. I met so many great people, made so many wonderful memories, and learned a lot about myself as well. So since I listed these three things, I guess I will go through each in depth.
One thing that had me nervous about my first year at college was that none of my good friends were going to the U of A with me. Sure I knew a few people going, but none well enough to hang out with. Also, I had never been the best at making friends, since my two best friends during school I had been friends with since I was 5. However, any worry I had vanished whenever I first got involved with the RFC, and I thank God so much for the people that are a part of that ministry. I quickly began good friends with most of the students in the RFC and enjoyed every time I we got together, whether it was for fun or for God. In addition, I also somehow ended up making some friends outside of the RFC. Some from my floor in my dorm, others I worked with in different classes, and even my roommate! There are a few of those friends, though, who I don't think I could have made it through my first year without.
First and foremost, I have to mention the two grad students that were a part of the RFC. Without these two girls, I know my first year would not have been even close to as awesome as it was. They both provided me with great advice as I needed it, but also helped me to remember to have fun during my time in college. They also were wonderful christian examples who helped to grow my faith tremendously. Both graduated this year, so while I will miss them and it will be different without them around, I hope to keep in contact with both of them for years to come. Two other people who I had the privilege to meet where a couple who were both in their sophomore year. The girl happened to be in the same chemistry as me both semesters, so I got to bond with her by doing.... I mean helping her with her online homework and also studying with her. She is such a positive person and every time I see her it always lifts my spirits no matter how I'm feeling. The guy is a sports management major so no classes in common, but he does like the cardinals so that is where we made our connection. He is such an awesome guy and very down to earth. Also, we started playing golf together after spring break so I hope we continue that activity in the early fall! There are so many other people I could mention and talk about at length, but I just want them to know that just because I didn't doesn't mean I don't love them!
My first year at college was also full a number of unforgettable moments. The day we filled up one of the rooms in the RFC house with a LOT of balloons was of course one of the best! Staying up all night to get Skyrim and then play beside one of my good friends was also great. I got the chance to preach, give a devo, and lead singing this year as well. All of the devos and lessons, especially the deeper issues lessons, were fantastic and really helped me grow in my faith and knowledge. Late nights of studying up at the RFC house were always something to look forward to, even though it was studying. Tagging all of the girls cars while they were in girls study was also very fun, but I made up for it by making them cookies, twice! I also was able to have many lunches with one of my good friends who went to the high school in Fayetteville and had fun going to prom with her. I got my first taste of engineering research and had a very fun, yet stressful, time with that. Finally, I had the chance to have many great late night conversations with one of the grad student girls and those nights were probably some of the best I had throughout my entire freshman year. Overall, my freshman year was pretty great, but I know next year can be even better.
So what exactly did I take away from this year? Well, the first thing is that I have a lot of growing to do. I mean I could give the excuse that this was just my first year, or that I had come from a smaller school and youth group, or that I just didn't have what was needed to do what needed to be done, but I don't want to do that. I want to tell myself that while I did some things right, I did a lot of things wrong and that if I want to make an impact on the people around me, I have to change that. On a more positive note though, I think I learned how to be more open and friendly to others, while still not having to talk more than I want to. I still need to work on speaking up more, but I am getting better at it and think that my social skills have made good improvements to where they were just a year ago. I've also learned how to study my bible better and see what I need to do in order to do God's will, but I still need to do a better job at being more consistent with that. Finally, I've learned how to better open up to others I think, and have enjoyed getting to know many of the RFCs on a very personal level.
There it is, my freshmen year in short. Was it anything like I thought it would be? Not at all, but I'm really not sure what I was expecting. What I got was the best year of my life, though. The relationships and memories I made this year were so fantastic and I know I wouldn't change a thing about how this year went. I loved every minute of it and can't wait to get back on campus. What will my sophomore year be like? I have no clue. What I do know is that when August rolls around, I will have God in my heart, old and new friends by my side, and a smile on my face. Until then, I will keep you updated on my summer shenanigans and hope that I can make sure to continue to develop myself into the man God needs me to be. Thanks to everyone that made my freshman year fantastic!
One thing that had me nervous about my first year at college was that none of my good friends were going to the U of A with me. Sure I knew a few people going, but none well enough to hang out with. Also, I had never been the best at making friends, since my two best friends during school I had been friends with since I was 5. However, any worry I had vanished whenever I first got involved with the RFC, and I thank God so much for the people that are a part of that ministry. I quickly began good friends with most of the students in the RFC and enjoyed every time I we got together, whether it was for fun or for God. In addition, I also somehow ended up making some friends outside of the RFC. Some from my floor in my dorm, others I worked with in different classes, and even my roommate! There are a few of those friends, though, who I don't think I could have made it through my first year without.
First and foremost, I have to mention the two grad students that were a part of the RFC. Without these two girls, I know my first year would not have been even close to as awesome as it was. They both provided me with great advice as I needed it, but also helped me to remember to have fun during my time in college. They also were wonderful christian examples who helped to grow my faith tremendously. Both graduated this year, so while I will miss them and it will be different without them around, I hope to keep in contact with both of them for years to come. Two other people who I had the privilege to meet where a couple who were both in their sophomore year. The girl happened to be in the same chemistry as me both semesters, so I got to bond with her by doing.... I mean helping her with her online homework and also studying with her. She is such a positive person and every time I see her it always lifts my spirits no matter how I'm feeling. The guy is a sports management major so no classes in common, but he does like the cardinals so that is where we made our connection. He is such an awesome guy and very down to earth. Also, we started playing golf together after spring break so I hope we continue that activity in the early fall! There are so many other people I could mention and talk about at length, but I just want them to know that just because I didn't doesn't mean I don't love them!
My first year at college was also full a number of unforgettable moments. The day we filled up one of the rooms in the RFC house with a LOT of balloons was of course one of the best! Staying up all night to get Skyrim and then play beside one of my good friends was also great. I got the chance to preach, give a devo, and lead singing this year as well. All of the devos and lessons, especially the deeper issues lessons, were fantastic and really helped me grow in my faith and knowledge. Late nights of studying up at the RFC house were always something to look forward to, even though it was studying. Tagging all of the girls cars while they were in girls study was also very fun, but I made up for it by making them cookies, twice! I also was able to have many lunches with one of my good friends who went to the high school in Fayetteville and had fun going to prom with her. I got my first taste of engineering research and had a very fun, yet stressful, time with that. Finally, I had the chance to have many great late night conversations with one of the grad student girls and those nights were probably some of the best I had throughout my entire freshman year. Overall, my freshman year was pretty great, but I know next year can be even better.
So what exactly did I take away from this year? Well, the first thing is that I have a lot of growing to do. I mean I could give the excuse that this was just my first year, or that I had come from a smaller school and youth group, or that I just didn't have what was needed to do what needed to be done, but I don't want to do that. I want to tell myself that while I did some things right, I did a lot of things wrong and that if I want to make an impact on the people around me, I have to change that. On a more positive note though, I think I learned how to be more open and friendly to others, while still not having to talk more than I want to. I still need to work on speaking up more, but I am getting better at it and think that my social skills have made good improvements to where they were just a year ago. I've also learned how to study my bible better and see what I need to do in order to do God's will, but I still need to do a better job at being more consistent with that. Finally, I've learned how to better open up to others I think, and have enjoyed getting to know many of the RFCs on a very personal level.
There it is, my freshmen year in short. Was it anything like I thought it would be? Not at all, but I'm really not sure what I was expecting. What I got was the best year of my life, though. The relationships and memories I made this year were so fantastic and I know I wouldn't change a thing about how this year went. I loved every minute of it and can't wait to get back on campus. What will my sophomore year be like? I have no clue. What I do know is that when August rolls around, I will have God in my heart, old and new friends by my side, and a smile on my face. Until then, I will keep you updated on my summer shenanigans and hope that I can make sure to continue to develop myself into the man God needs me to be. Thanks to everyone that made my freshman year fantastic!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Yeah, College can get busy.
While I have not had to worry about writing a thesis or anything like in the past few months, I have experienced my own amount of business, or at least as much as a freshman can I have. However, I did present my research that I have been working on for the last semester and a half, so since that is over I really have nothing to worry about til finals, which is good! So, I figured since I will most likely be writing a post to sum up my first year here at the University of Arkansas, I should probably talk about what all has happened this semester!
I'm probably not going to hit everything that has happened since I last blogged or do it in order of when it happened, but we will see what I can recall. One of my favorite things that has happened this semester is that I have gotten to play a little more basketball than last and started playing golf with some of my friends as well! I played golf for my high school for one year, but decided not to stay with it because I never really had the patience. That has seemed to change over the years, however, as I have not been doing that bad lately. I played with my dad one weekend while I was at home and shot under a 50 on 9, although he did give me a few mulligans. One of the biggest things that has been messing me up is actually that I haven't been able to quite figure out how hard to hit the ball yet. Me and a few friends went a played a par 3 course last weekend and I ended up going past the hole on about 6 or 7 of the holes, but it's a short course so I don't feel to bad. Other than that, it has been awesome to play and just take a couple hours out of my week to hang out with friends.
Another thing that happened recently was that the Leadership Training for Christ (LTC) convention was held in Rogers. LTC is something that I had been involved in since I was in 3rd grade, so it was great to get to go again this year. LTC is pretty much just a convention where different Church of Christs come together and the youths get to do different things like drama, song leading, and chorus. I got to be a judge this year for the 5th and 6th grade song leading and it was awesome to see such young kids getting up and leading. I myself started song leading in 4th grade I believe. My dad had always pushed me to do it since even when I was younger I would always try keep time with my hand like the song leader would and even lead some songs for my grandma whenever we would take her communion. Overall, LTC this year was wonderful and it was great to hang out with my old youth group. Looking forward to hopefully going on some trips with them this summer as well.
The final big thing I would like to share that has happened is that I finally presented my research this past Tuesday. Considering how all I had been doing up til then was write and think about it, I hope you will understand if I don't really want to go into any details about it since I am just glad to be done with it! However, it was a great experience and I am super glad I did it. I got to meet some really cool people through the class and get some great lab experience I will use in the future. Also, on Tuesday night after the presentations were over we got to go to the catfish hole and I probably ate a good 3 to 4 pounds of catfish and hush puppies, so that was wonderful as well.
So those were just some of the main things that had happened this semester. A few other things I would like to mention are that the RFCs had a game night one Friday and I was able to teach the group the game Kemp, and the proceeded to win both that and Catan. Also, the Cardinals started playing this month and currently are playing fantastic and leading their division, with my boy DFreese picking up right we he left off last October. Oh, and I took one of my good friends to her high school prom, which was a very fun and enjoyable night. It was the weekend before I presented, so it was nice to just go and let loose for a while.
Now as the end of my first year of college is drawing near to the end, I am just so surprised at how fast it went and all the great times it has provided. But those thoughts are for the next post. For now, I just leave you with a picture of my wonderful nephew, who helps me to keep smiling every time I see him!
I'm probably not going to hit everything that has happened since I last blogged or do it in order of when it happened, but we will see what I can recall. One of my favorite things that has happened this semester is that I have gotten to play a little more basketball than last and started playing golf with some of my friends as well! I played golf for my high school for one year, but decided not to stay with it because I never really had the patience. That has seemed to change over the years, however, as I have not been doing that bad lately. I played with my dad one weekend while I was at home and shot under a 50 on 9, although he did give me a few mulligans. One of the biggest things that has been messing me up is actually that I haven't been able to quite figure out how hard to hit the ball yet. Me and a few friends went a played a par 3 course last weekend and I ended up going past the hole on about 6 or 7 of the holes, but it's a short course so I don't feel to bad. Other than that, it has been awesome to play and just take a couple hours out of my week to hang out with friends.
Another thing that happened recently was that the Leadership Training for Christ (LTC) convention was held in Rogers. LTC is something that I had been involved in since I was in 3rd grade, so it was great to get to go again this year. LTC is pretty much just a convention where different Church of Christs come together and the youths get to do different things like drama, song leading, and chorus. I got to be a judge this year for the 5th and 6th grade song leading and it was awesome to see such young kids getting up and leading. I myself started song leading in 4th grade I believe. My dad had always pushed me to do it since even when I was younger I would always try keep time with my hand like the song leader would and even lead some songs for my grandma whenever we would take her communion. Overall, LTC this year was wonderful and it was great to hang out with my old youth group. Looking forward to hopefully going on some trips with them this summer as well.
The final big thing I would like to share that has happened is that I finally presented my research this past Tuesday. Considering how all I had been doing up til then was write and think about it, I hope you will understand if I don't really want to go into any details about it since I am just glad to be done with it! However, it was a great experience and I am super glad I did it. I got to meet some really cool people through the class and get some great lab experience I will use in the future. Also, on Tuesday night after the presentations were over we got to go to the catfish hole and I probably ate a good 3 to 4 pounds of catfish and hush puppies, so that was wonderful as well.
So those were just some of the main things that had happened this semester. A few other things I would like to mention are that the RFCs had a game night one Friday and I was able to teach the group the game Kemp, and the proceeded to win both that and Catan. Also, the Cardinals started playing this month and currently are playing fantastic and leading their division, with my boy DFreese picking up right we he left off last October. Oh, and I took one of my good friends to her high school prom, which was a very fun and enjoyable night. It was the weekend before I presented, so it was nice to just go and let loose for a while.
Now as the end of my first year of college is drawing near to the end, I am just so surprised at how fast it went and all the great times it has provided. But those thoughts are for the next post. For now, I just leave you with a picture of my wonderful nephew, who helps me to keep smiling every time I see him!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
The mystery, or how you approach people.
I've always heard that you have to make a good first impression when you meet someone, yet I've slowly come to release that I believe a "good" first impression is something that is very hard to achieve. I say this because I believe that while the first impression is important, it is just as important as the second, third, fourth, etc. until a certain point. Now then this point is different for everyone, could be anywhere from the fifth to the tenth to the twentieth, but everyone has it. The point I'm talking about is the point where the mystery, something I will explain in a bit, dissipates and a choice has to be made, also to be discussed later.
So first of all, what is "the mystery"? Well if you just think back to anytime you were getting to know someone, you will be able to see that it was there all along. The mystery surrounds anyone who you do not know. It's that shroud that covers them that you can't see through no matter how hard you look. Just think about it, what's the best part of meeting someone new? I feel that it is the fact that you don't know what kind of person is underneath the mystery. You can watch a person for as long as you wanted, but you could never really see them until you talk to them and started to chip away at the mystery that surround them piece by piece. However, sometimes this mystery can be there for more than just keeping out strangers.
The one thing about the mystery that makes it different from being just a fog that is easily blown away by just a few conversations is the fact that everyone has control of how much of their own mystery they let fade away toward each different person. This can be used in two different ways. The first is a way that you personally can use it towards others mysteries. As you begin to get to know some one, there is always that point where you feel comfortable with what you know about them. I like to think of this point as where you choose to stop chipping away at the mystery instead of the other person stopping you. You see, not everyone can know everything about all the people in their life, so they stop some people short, whether it be because they are afraid of what lies beneath the rest or just don't care to know anymore about that person.
The second way the mystery is used is by the person who you are trying to get to know. Everyone has a certain point to where they are comfortable with others getting to know them, but when that point is reached the mystery morphs from some kind of haze into a full blown wall, not letting anyone in. Behind these walls are the base of each person, the point at which they feel most vulnerable to the outside world. However, these walls are not indestructible. If you are able to break through the walls of a person, whether they have ten or just one, feel grateful in the fact that you have a friend of one of the highest levels. In addition though, you yourself also have to let down your own walls in order to truly have a strong friendship. If you are not willing to do this, you should not expect this of others.
So, what made me think of this? Not really sure to tell you the truth, but I think it just shows a little insight into the way I see thinks, slowly wisping away the mystery that surrounds me to all of those who read. But now I am done, and will continue my journey through my first full year of college with a smile on my face and eyes looking at the mysteries around me.
So first of all, what is "the mystery"? Well if you just think back to anytime you were getting to know someone, you will be able to see that it was there all along. The mystery surrounds anyone who you do not know. It's that shroud that covers them that you can't see through no matter how hard you look. Just think about it, what's the best part of meeting someone new? I feel that it is the fact that you don't know what kind of person is underneath the mystery. You can watch a person for as long as you wanted, but you could never really see them until you talk to them and started to chip away at the mystery that surround them piece by piece. However, sometimes this mystery can be there for more than just keeping out strangers.
The one thing about the mystery that makes it different from being just a fog that is easily blown away by just a few conversations is the fact that everyone has control of how much of their own mystery they let fade away toward each different person. This can be used in two different ways. The first is a way that you personally can use it towards others mysteries. As you begin to get to know some one, there is always that point where you feel comfortable with what you know about them. I like to think of this point as where you choose to stop chipping away at the mystery instead of the other person stopping you. You see, not everyone can know everything about all the people in their life, so they stop some people short, whether it be because they are afraid of what lies beneath the rest or just don't care to know anymore about that person.
The second way the mystery is used is by the person who you are trying to get to know. Everyone has a certain point to where they are comfortable with others getting to know them, but when that point is reached the mystery morphs from some kind of haze into a full blown wall, not letting anyone in. Behind these walls are the base of each person, the point at which they feel most vulnerable to the outside world. However, these walls are not indestructible. If you are able to break through the walls of a person, whether they have ten or just one, feel grateful in the fact that you have a friend of one of the highest levels. In addition though, you yourself also have to let down your own walls in order to truly have a strong friendship. If you are not willing to do this, you should not expect this of others.
So, what made me think of this? Not really sure to tell you the truth, but I think it just shows a little insight into the way I see thinks, slowly wisping away the mystery that surrounds me to all of those who read. But now I am done, and will continue my journey through my first full year of college with a smile on my face and eyes looking at the mysteries around me.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
The less you speak, the more you hear.
Alright, first thing I feel like I need to do is preface that the title of my blog is not to say that people talk to much or anything like that, but to simply state something I've learned over the years of my existence. Got it? Good! Now then, onto writing my thoughts.
So, just the other day I was over at a friends apartment with a lot of other people from the RFC group. We had a fantastic dinner followed by playing games and just enjoying each others company. Then, one of the people there commented that I hadn't really said a lot that night and was wondering why that was. My friend who's apartment we where in, a person that I just happened to have a conversation on this subject before, was quick to say that I liked to listen because it's how I learn. And so that's what I want to explain in this blog, my love for listening.
My childhood is probably where this began, even if I really didn't know it back then. My sister was always one to talk and try to get attention when we were both kids, so I would usually spend most of my time listening to her, not by choice most of the time mind you. Also, most of my friends that lived in my neighborhood were kinda of the commanding type, ones who always just wanted to do what they wanted to do, so I would just listen to what they said and follow suit. As I grew up though, I began to see listening as something that was not something I just had to do, but what I wanted to do.
One memory that always sticks out in my mind when I think about my love of listening is back during my first year as a senior camper at my church camp, Burnt Cabin. I had always loved that place ever since I was a little boy, but that is a story for a different time. As for how it pertains to now, well we have to go to the last night of camp that year. You see, at camp they allow all of the senior campers, that is going into 9th grade and up, to stay up as long as they want on the last night. My best friend in the youth group was a few years older than me and liked to invite me to hang out with him and a lot of the older members in the youth group when they did stuff. So this night a few of the older campers were just sitting at a stone table, and me and him went to join them. I probably sat there for over 3 hours as I just listened to them talk about everything from school to memories to faith. People would get up and leave and others would come and sit, but I just sat there and enjoying learning so many different things from these people. I can't say for sure, but if I had to guess I would say that I couldn't have said more than 10 words during that whole time, but that didn't matter at all to me. From then on, I would see how much just listening could do for me in my life.
Over the next few years, I tried to do a lot less speaking and a lot more listening, and it sure did help me out like nothing else. It helped me to make great friendships that I would never want to lose, especially with people who I met in different states and such that I may not see but once a year. I also think it helped me to be able to care more about the people I already I had in my life. And one think I know it did for me is help to grow my faith in God and get a lot closer to him than I had been in the past, and that I know is the best thing of all.
In conclusion, listening is a skill that nearly everyone has, yet I believe few master. I've been told I am a great listener in the past, but I still believe I have a lot to learn before I can master it. Do I think I'm a good listener? Well, I'm not really sure what all that kind of title entails. There are a lot of times I wish I would speak up, and other I wish I wouldn't have said anything. I can be loud at times, just as I can be way to quite at others. But one thing I do know is that I truly do love to listen, even though sometimes I don't seem like (sorry mom and dad!). And I don't how this love will help me in the future, but I know that in the past it sure has done a lot. As for what it is doing for me in the present, well it is just something I am using to learn more about all of the wonderful friends I have met here in college. The more I listen, the more I know about them, and that is something that keeps me smiling.
So, just the other day I was over at a friends apartment with a lot of other people from the RFC group. We had a fantastic dinner followed by playing games and just enjoying each others company. Then, one of the people there commented that I hadn't really said a lot that night and was wondering why that was. My friend who's apartment we where in, a person that I just happened to have a conversation on this subject before, was quick to say that I liked to listen because it's how I learn. And so that's what I want to explain in this blog, my love for listening.
My childhood is probably where this began, even if I really didn't know it back then. My sister was always one to talk and try to get attention when we were both kids, so I would usually spend most of my time listening to her, not by choice most of the time mind you. Also, most of my friends that lived in my neighborhood were kinda of the commanding type, ones who always just wanted to do what they wanted to do, so I would just listen to what they said and follow suit. As I grew up though, I began to see listening as something that was not something I just had to do, but what I wanted to do.
One memory that always sticks out in my mind when I think about my love of listening is back during my first year as a senior camper at my church camp, Burnt Cabin. I had always loved that place ever since I was a little boy, but that is a story for a different time. As for how it pertains to now, well we have to go to the last night of camp that year. You see, at camp they allow all of the senior campers, that is going into 9th grade and up, to stay up as long as they want on the last night. My best friend in the youth group was a few years older than me and liked to invite me to hang out with him and a lot of the older members in the youth group when they did stuff. So this night a few of the older campers were just sitting at a stone table, and me and him went to join them. I probably sat there for over 3 hours as I just listened to them talk about everything from school to memories to faith. People would get up and leave and others would come and sit, but I just sat there and enjoying learning so many different things from these people. I can't say for sure, but if I had to guess I would say that I couldn't have said more than 10 words during that whole time, but that didn't matter at all to me. From then on, I would see how much just listening could do for me in my life.
Over the next few years, I tried to do a lot less speaking and a lot more listening, and it sure did help me out like nothing else. It helped me to make great friendships that I would never want to lose, especially with people who I met in different states and such that I may not see but once a year. I also think it helped me to be able to care more about the people I already I had in my life. And one think I know it did for me is help to grow my faith in God and get a lot closer to him than I had been in the past, and that I know is the best thing of all.
In conclusion, listening is a skill that nearly everyone has, yet I believe few master. I've been told I am a great listener in the past, but I still believe I have a lot to learn before I can master it. Do I think I'm a good listener? Well, I'm not really sure what all that kind of title entails. There are a lot of times I wish I would speak up, and other I wish I wouldn't have said anything. I can be loud at times, just as I can be way to quite at others. But one thing I do know is that I truly do love to listen, even though sometimes I don't seem like (sorry mom and dad!). And I don't how this love will help me in the future, but I know that in the past it sure has done a lot. As for what it is doing for me in the present, well it is just something I am using to learn more about all of the wonderful friends I have met here in college. The more I listen, the more I know about them, and that is something that keeps me smiling.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
True Music
So I was going to go to sleep about an hour ago, but then proceeded to get on to YouTube. That hour I spent not sleeping was used very well, as I watched videos of performances by a capella groups. They got me going and so happy, that I figured I had to blog about it. Because if there is a style of music that is better than the rest, it has to be a capella.
My parents were the first ones to introduce me to the sound of a capella. When I was a kid growing up, my dad would play tapes of the christian group Acapella. It was my absolute favorite to listen to. I would always sing along and soon had every word memorized from every song. As I grew I would still listen to them every now and then, but that was about the only a capella group I knew about. I think when I was in middle school we even went to one of their concerts. It was amazing and I think I got like 2 or 3 Cd's there to listen to. It wasn't until a few years back though that I really got into a capella music.
So I'm not sure what year it actually started, but a show called the "Sing-Off" began and it is easily one of my favorite shows ever. If you have never heard of it, it is a show like American Idol, but instead of single singers, it has about 12 a capella groups come on and compete for a record deal. Me and my whole family would always make sure to watch it anytime it was on. From there, I started to really start enjoy a capella music as much as I do now. For instance, last year I went to a concert for a group called Straight No Chaser. That concert was probably the best one I have ever been to, and I've been front row at a Styx concert so that shows how much I enjoyed it.
You see, the beautiful thing about a capella music is that it just lets you actually feel the music and not just listen. Even though a lot of a capella groups just sing songs that have already been released, I end up liking the a capella version of those songs more than the original. A capella groups also are some of the coolest people as well. They just know how to have fun while singing and are able to show their own personalities and add their own twists to each song, making it that much more enjoyable. I still have to say that Acapella is the best at doing this. Anytime I am struggling with things in my life, I can just put in my headphones and listen to them and it just helps me remember what is important in life and how I should be living.
In closing, a capella music is something that I hold very dear to me. I've always wanted to try to be in an a capella band, but that's kinda hard when you have no musical talent at all. Even so, I love it so much and anytime I hear it, I know that it will help me to keep smiling.
Here are a few of my favorite groups to listen to:
My parents were the first ones to introduce me to the sound of a capella. When I was a kid growing up, my dad would play tapes of the christian group Acapella. It was my absolute favorite to listen to. I would always sing along and soon had every word memorized from every song. As I grew I would still listen to them every now and then, but that was about the only a capella group I knew about. I think when I was in middle school we even went to one of their concerts. It was amazing and I think I got like 2 or 3 Cd's there to listen to. It wasn't until a few years back though that I really got into a capella music.
So I'm not sure what year it actually started, but a show called the "Sing-Off" began and it is easily one of my favorite shows ever. If you have never heard of it, it is a show like American Idol, but instead of single singers, it has about 12 a capella groups come on and compete for a record deal. Me and my whole family would always make sure to watch it anytime it was on. From there, I started to really start enjoy a capella music as much as I do now. For instance, last year I went to a concert for a group called Straight No Chaser. That concert was probably the best one I have ever been to, and I've been front row at a Styx concert so that shows how much I enjoyed it.
You see, the beautiful thing about a capella music is that it just lets you actually feel the music and not just listen. Even though a lot of a capella groups just sing songs that have already been released, I end up liking the a capella version of those songs more than the original. A capella groups also are some of the coolest people as well. They just know how to have fun while singing and are able to show their own personalities and add their own twists to each song, making it that much more enjoyable. I still have to say that Acapella is the best at doing this. Anytime I am struggling with things in my life, I can just put in my headphones and listen to them and it just helps me remember what is important in life and how I should be living.
In closing, a capella music is something that I hold very dear to me. I've always wanted to try to be in an a capella band, but that's kinda hard when you have no musical talent at all. Even so, I love it so much and anytime I hear it, I know that it will help me to keep smiling.
Here are a few of my favorite groups to listen to:
Committed (Currently have one album out that is fantastic!)
Straight No Chaser (Very fun group, especially live!)
Acapella (Just simply fantastic, plain and simple.)
Monday, January 30, 2012
But if you try sometime, you just might find...
When we are babies, we have no way to get what we want for ourselves. So what do we do? We cry. But as we grow and learn, we start to be able to do things without having to ask for help. And as we go through these changes, the reason we cry starts to change as well. We no longer cry because we want something, but rather because we no longer have something, whether it's a person, a pet, security, our way in life, or maybe just something we never even had. However, the fact that we cry does not make what we want come back, so what do we do then?
My grandma was a very loving woman. She had one of the strongest faiths I had ever been around and had a way of showing that to everyone. My dad would always tell me stories of how they would go into town just to get a couple things and be gone for hours because she would always talk to so many people to see how they were doing. As she got older, she couldn't go to church anymore so my dad and me would go over to her and my grandpa's house and bring her communion and she would always want me to lead a song for her. My grandpa had never been a christian and had always said he would go to church whenever he got his hearing fixed, but still didn't even go after that. However, when my grandma died it was one of the very few times I had ever seen him cry. Now his tears couldn't bring back his wife, but he would soon find what he needed. He started coming to church and was baptized and has be a devout christian ever since.
This story has always made accepting of my grandma's death. I loved her so much and would have liked her to be able to be on this Earth and watch me grow up, but if she was still here I don't know if my grandpa would be the person he is today. In addition, I don't think I would be the person I am today either, because if not for her I wouldn't have been able to develop my own faith and I thank and love her for that.
But what happens when you can't see what you need? Are you supposed to be able to, or does it just find its way to you? I mean some things you want so bad that it's hard to tell yourself it isn't what you need. I don't know all the answers, or really any of them actually, but shouldn't you try your best at everything you set your mind to do? In some things, this is probably true. But as I have slowly, but surely, come to see, a lot of things you just need to give up on if they are not what is best for you.
I know I have been kinda rambling on about a lot of different things and trying to get them to go together, but I think that's just because that's what my mind is kinda like right now. As I mentioned before, even an infant knows what it wants and tries whatever it can to obtain it. But at some point we all have to realize that some things in this life we are not meant to have, be it a friendship, relationship, job, or something else for any number of reasons, no matter how much we want it. If we keep our eyes open, however, we might just get something we need. However, even if we don't get anything, that may be just what we needed all along. I've got a lot more growing to do, and probably a lot more crying as well, but as long as I try to keep smiling as I go, knowing God will see me through, I'm sure I will be alright. It just may take a while sometimes..
My grandma was a very loving woman. She had one of the strongest faiths I had ever been around and had a way of showing that to everyone. My dad would always tell me stories of how they would go into town just to get a couple things and be gone for hours because she would always talk to so many people to see how they were doing. As she got older, she couldn't go to church anymore so my dad and me would go over to her and my grandpa's house and bring her communion and she would always want me to lead a song for her. My grandpa had never been a christian and had always said he would go to church whenever he got his hearing fixed, but still didn't even go after that. However, when my grandma died it was one of the very few times I had ever seen him cry. Now his tears couldn't bring back his wife, but he would soon find what he needed. He started coming to church and was baptized and has be a devout christian ever since.
This story has always made accepting of my grandma's death. I loved her so much and would have liked her to be able to be on this Earth and watch me grow up, but if she was still here I don't know if my grandpa would be the person he is today. In addition, I don't think I would be the person I am today either, because if not for her I wouldn't have been able to develop my own faith and I thank and love her for that.
But what happens when you can't see what you need? Are you supposed to be able to, or does it just find its way to you? I mean some things you want so bad that it's hard to tell yourself it isn't what you need. I don't know all the answers, or really any of them actually, but shouldn't you try your best at everything you set your mind to do? In some things, this is probably true. But as I have slowly, but surely, come to see, a lot of things you just need to give up on if they are not what is best for you.
I know I have been kinda rambling on about a lot of different things and trying to get them to go together, but I think that's just because that's what my mind is kinda like right now. As I mentioned before, even an infant knows what it wants and tries whatever it can to obtain it. But at some point we all have to realize that some things in this life we are not meant to have, be it a friendship, relationship, job, or something else for any number of reasons, no matter how much we want it. If we keep our eyes open, however, we might just get something we need. However, even if we don't get anything, that may be just what we needed all along. I've got a lot more growing to do, and probably a lot more crying as well, but as long as I try to keep smiling as I go, knowing God will see me through, I'm sure I will be alright. It just may take a while sometimes..
Friday, January 13, 2012
Top 5 games of 2011
2011 was a great year for gaming. The 3DS came out, sequels were abundant, and for the first time I had a laptop that could play PC games. Thanks to the last fact, I spent almost $100 during the Steam sales this year, but it was well worth it. I've never been much of a PC gamer, but now I love it. Steam is great and I'm excited that I get to play more indie developed games now, some of which will be on my top 5.
Alright so this top five with be in no particular order, but will be 5 games that came out in 2011 that I believe everyone should play. So if you haven't gamed these games, you should!
5. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Alright so I go to this game first because if you had any desire to play this game, you most likely already have at least 40 hours poured into this epic adventure. Skyrim was my first time to play an Elder Scrolls game and it did not disappoint. I even went back and got both of the previous Elder Scrolls games to see what led up to this game. The world of Skyrim is massive and super detailed. The soundtrack is fantastic from just walking around to the awesome sounds of battling a dragon. The main story it pretty good, but the side quests is where this game really shines. Also, the leveling system is so well designed an interesting. As you progress through the game, you level up different skills, such as archery or lock pick, and as you level those skills you get experience for your overall level. This game is just fantastic and I cannot wait to spend some more time finishing it up.
4. Super Mario 3D Land - One of the few portable games I actually played this year, 3D Land was the game I was waiting for on the 3DS. The game takes a page from the old Mario games and has you going through 5 different levels in 8 worlds, each being very well designed and just the right length for a portable game. The 3D for the game is done very nicely and shows just what the 3DS is capable of. If more 3DS games can be at this level of quality, I will be much happier about my early buy of the system.
3. Rayman Origins - Alright, so last year Donkey Kong Country Returns was released and it quickly became my favorite game of last year. I've always had a special place in my heart for old-school side-scrolling platformers and Rayman Origins is exactly what I needed to fill that place this year. I love the art style that this game has and the music is amazing. As for the gameplay, it is probably one of the tightest games of this year. The controls are fantastic and every time you receive a new power you see how much quality the developers put into it. This is defiantly a must play for any old-school gamers out there.
2. Bastion - Alright so Bastion is one of the indie games that I mentioned earlier. This game was made by just 7 people working out of a house, but if someone wouldn't have told me that I would have thought it had to be made by some big time development team. Bastion is a beautiful game that has such a unique look, soundtrack, and gameplay. The story of the game is kinda hard to follow at first, but as it progresses it starts to come together. The different mechanics that Bastion implements, such as weapon customization and just the kind of weapons you can use, are very interesting and give players a chance to choose how they want to play. Bastion makes me very excited to now be a PC gamer and have the chance to play unique games like it.
1. The Binding of Isaac - And last, but far from least, The Binding of Isaac has to be my favorite game of last year. The game doesn't take long to play, usually one playthrough doesn't go longer than 45 minutes to a hour, but the design of the game is what makes it one of the best of 2011. The game plays like an old Zelda game. You go from room to room defeating the enemies in each to advance and then face a boss on each level as you move down. The story is that you are Isaac and your mom is told by God to kill you, so you run away to the basement and in the end try to kill her, but don't get caught up on that. The main draw of the game is that it is completely random every playthrough. From the bosses, to the tons of many different and fun power ups, to even the room layouts it is all different ever time you boot up a new game. This game has already taken tens of hours away from me and I can't see it stopping anytime soon. If you can get this game, do, because you will not regret it. I love this game!
Alright so there are 5 games of 2011 that I hope have a chance to play. 2011 was a great year for gaming, and 2012 looks to be awesome as well. And as I slowly develop carpal tunnel and ruin my eyesight, I will keep smiling as I do it because I enjoy me some gaming!
P.S. Early pick for Game of the Year 2012:
Alright so this top five with be in no particular order, but will be 5 games that came out in 2011 that I believe everyone should play. So if you haven't gamed these games, you should!
5. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Alright so I go to this game first because if you had any desire to play this game, you most likely already have at least 40 hours poured into this epic adventure. Skyrim was my first time to play an Elder Scrolls game and it did not disappoint. I even went back and got both of the previous Elder Scrolls games to see what led up to this game. The world of Skyrim is massive and super detailed. The soundtrack is fantastic from just walking around to the awesome sounds of battling a dragon. The main story it pretty good, but the side quests is where this game really shines. Also, the leveling system is so well designed an interesting. As you progress through the game, you level up different skills, such as archery or lock pick, and as you level those skills you get experience for your overall level. This game is just fantastic and I cannot wait to spend some more time finishing it up.
4. Super Mario 3D Land - One of the few portable games I actually played this year, 3D Land was the game I was waiting for on the 3DS. The game takes a page from the old Mario games and has you going through 5 different levels in 8 worlds, each being very well designed and just the right length for a portable game. The 3D for the game is done very nicely and shows just what the 3DS is capable of. If more 3DS games can be at this level of quality, I will be much happier about my early buy of the system.
3. Rayman Origins - Alright, so last year Donkey Kong Country Returns was released and it quickly became my favorite game of last year. I've always had a special place in my heart for old-school side-scrolling platformers and Rayman Origins is exactly what I needed to fill that place this year. I love the art style that this game has and the music is amazing. As for the gameplay, it is probably one of the tightest games of this year. The controls are fantastic and every time you receive a new power you see how much quality the developers put into it. This is defiantly a must play for any old-school gamers out there.
2. Bastion - Alright so Bastion is one of the indie games that I mentioned earlier. This game was made by just 7 people working out of a house, but if someone wouldn't have told me that I would have thought it had to be made by some big time development team. Bastion is a beautiful game that has such a unique look, soundtrack, and gameplay. The story of the game is kinda hard to follow at first, but as it progresses it starts to come together. The different mechanics that Bastion implements, such as weapon customization and just the kind of weapons you can use, are very interesting and give players a chance to choose how they want to play. Bastion makes me very excited to now be a PC gamer and have the chance to play unique games like it.
1. The Binding of Isaac - And last, but far from least, The Binding of Isaac has to be my favorite game of last year. The game doesn't take long to play, usually one playthrough doesn't go longer than 45 minutes to a hour, but the design of the game is what makes it one of the best of 2011. The game plays like an old Zelda game. You go from room to room defeating the enemies in each to advance and then face a boss on each level as you move down. The story is that you are Isaac and your mom is told by God to kill you, so you run away to the basement and in the end try to kill her, but don't get caught up on that. The main draw of the game is that it is completely random every playthrough. From the bosses, to the tons of many different and fun power ups, to even the room layouts it is all different ever time you boot up a new game. This game has already taken tens of hours away from me and I can't see it stopping anytime soon. If you can get this game, do, because you will not regret it. I love this game!
Alright so there are 5 games of 2011 that I hope have a chance to play. 2011 was a great year for gaming, and 2012 looks to be awesome as well. And as I slowly develop carpal tunnel and ruin my eyesight, I will keep smiling as I do it because I enjoy me some gaming!
P.S. Early pick for Game of the Year 2012:
Saturday, January 7, 2012
The wonderful thing about Tiggers...
Some would say that I've a person of a different breed. I like to rock out to The Who but still enjoy singing along with High School Musical. I can talk NBA, NFL, or MLB for hours on end, yet I can also stay up all night playing a game of Civ 5. I can listen to someone talk to me for hours on end about anything or just sit alone and let my mind wander. What I haven't been able to do, however, is find someone who can also do that. And while I think that all of these things define me as a very unique person, sometimes I wish I was a little different.
What brings up this topic is just the fact of the past. During my years on this Earth, I have had many great wonderful friends. Each has been different, but one thing has always been consistent. I've never found that one person that I could do everything with. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but the simple fact of the matter is I've never truly felt like one of them was my best friend. The one I could call up at any time during the day and go do something with. The person I could confide my thoughts and emotions with. And I've slowly come to realize that it may not be because I haven't met them yet, but maybe because I'm not meant to have one.
I entitled this blog "The wonderful thing about Tiggers..." and I've you haven't ever watched Winnie the Pooh I will tell you that it is that Tigger is the only one. (And no I have not seen the Tigger movie so I have no idea what was in that). Anyways, I remember from my childhood that Tigger was always the one who seemed to bring joy and energy to his friends. I've always strived in my life to be a person like that, so I guess you could say I'm like him in that way. But I've come to see that maybe I'm like him in another way as well. I'm not sure if it is exactly a wonderful thing, but just maybe I am the only one who has my kind of personality, likes, dislikes, and attitude all rolled into one. And in addition, maybe that I can use that to be wonderful.
Throughout my life, I've never been the best at making friends. On the other hand, once I've been able to get past the initial introductions and such, I've always been great at building friendships. This goes back to the things I've said before, the fact that I do have an educated opinion on so many things. From movies to music to sports to games and even politics at times, I try to stay up to date on everything, which I believes allow me to help my friendships with people grow. Now I'm not saying that I know everything or that it's always because of me, but I think that just from my own experience I have an ability to create good connections with people I meet and have time to talk to. So now here is where we get back to the main idea. The fact that I create all of these, let's say, "good" friendships with may people is why I believe I've never been able to have that "best" kind of friendship. Sure some turn into "better" friendships, but I've always seen it as if I have someone who I know I can talk about sports with, while someone else I can geek out with about the newest game, and then another person I can converse with about the latest album from some band, why do I have to find that someone who I can do them all with.
The wonderful thing about Derek Daniels? Well, I'm really not sure what that is or even if there is something about myself that others would deem wonderful. But what I do know is this. I have a lot of great friends in this world who I love and care for. And while not having a "best" friend may mean I don't really have a person to talk to about things in my life or can rely on at anytime, I do know that I have had many of my great friends help me through hard times in my life. And just so we're clear to end this, I'm not saying that there are not people in my life I don't consider to be best friends, but it's just the plain fact that I've always defined a true best friend as some higher form of friendship, whether it be between two people in love or two people who have known each other forever, but even though I don't know what it's like to have someone like that, I know I have yet to reach that kind of friendship. But someone, some way, maybe I will. And for that, I keep smiling.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Wazumbah, or how to make it yours.
The title may or may not have anything to do with this blog, but I have to cover a lot of stuff and it sounded good so I'm just going with it.
So I've finished my first semester of college at the U of A! And, thankfully, came out of it with all A's so that's a good way to start, right? Anyways, I would probably describe my first semester as... different? I'm not saying it was bad, far from it, but just not really what I was expecting exactly. But we will get to that later. For now, I must tell you about the end of 2011 for me.
So from the time of my last blog there have been only a few big things in my life, or atleast a few I consider big I guess. First off would be my birthday. Usually I would say this isn't a big thing at all, but I figure I should talk about it since it was my first away from home. A couple weeks before the day, my parents asked me if I wanted them to come up and go out for dinner. I've never really cared to much about my birthday so I just told them we could do something when I got home the next week. As for the not caring, I've just always seen birthdays as a day where you get attention for doing nothing except being born, woo... I usually try not to draw to much attention to myself, but if I do get attention I hope that I deserve it for actually doing something good. Anyways, On my birthday I woke up around 10 or so since it was a Saturday. I proceeded to just kinda mess around in my dorm, study for my Calc 3 test, and watch some great basketball games (Kentucky vs. UNC was amazing!). Later that night was a Christmas party at the RFC house. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go, but I figured I might as well do something on my birthday. I proceeded to go to walmart to get a $10 gift since we were playing a dirty santa game at the party. The party was fun, and I got "O, Brother Where 'art Thou" so that was good! After the party I went back to my dorm to study a little before bed. Little did I know that some of the members from the RFC had planned to surprise me with a... well I'm not sure what it was but it had brownies and ice cream on it with a candle. They had wanted to give it to me at the RFC house but hadn't noticed I left so came to my dorm room and sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It was very nice, but I still just felt like there was no reason for it just because it was my birthday, but still it was nice. I still wish I didn't really have a birthday though, or atleast could not celebrate it.
The next big thing was finals week!! I thankfully only had 2 finals this year and they had a full day inbetween them so I wasn't too worried. My first one was my Calc 3 final on Monday morning. This was the only class I was really worried about not getting an A in. I studied probably over 12 hours combined over the weekend, and by test time I was confident. And for good reason, since I got a 99 on it! My other one was Chem 1 on Wednesday night. I only needed like a 40% on it to get an A, so I didn't study quite as much... like 2 hours. But I still got an 85% on it so it was all good. I packed up all my stuff on Thursday night and proceeded to make the trip back home for the break ready to relax and enjoy time with my family, who would soon be getting a new member.
Which brings me to the last big thing that capped of the year, the birth of my nephew, James (Jimmer) Carney. My sister went to the hospital around 3 I think on December 27th. I stayed at home for a while and headed to the hospital around 11 with my dad, who had been working. We waited there til I believe around 6 or 7 hours with my grandma, uncle and aunt, cousin, and my brother-in-laws family would had been coming to visit that day (good timing). He was a big boy and defiantly a cute one too. He is a handful, as all newborns are, but precious. I can't wait til he gets big enough for me to play with him and teach him how to call the hogs and play ball!
Outside of the RFC group, college was still different. Classes really weren't as hard as I thought they would be. And I'm not trying to brag or say they weren't hard, but having taken physics and calc my junior year I was scared going into calc 3 and physics 2, but it turned out to not be too bad. Those two classes were also where I got to connect with someone I now consider to be one of my best friends, even though he always acts like he hates me. I see it as kind of a Dr. Cox, J.D. kinda relationship, him being cruel and funny while I just look for his respect. Okay, maybe not quite like it, but somewhat haha.
So I've finished my first semester of college at the U of A! And, thankfully, came out of it with all A's so that's a good way to start, right? Anyways, I would probably describe my first semester as... different? I'm not saying it was bad, far from it, but just not really what I was expecting exactly. But we will get to that later. For now, I must tell you about the end of 2011 for me.
So from the time of my last blog there have been only a few big things in my life, or atleast a few I consider big I guess. First off would be my birthday. Usually I would say this isn't a big thing at all, but I figure I should talk about it since it was my first away from home. A couple weeks before the day, my parents asked me if I wanted them to come up and go out for dinner. I've never really cared to much about my birthday so I just told them we could do something when I got home the next week. As for the not caring, I've just always seen birthdays as a day where you get attention for doing nothing except being born, woo... I usually try not to draw to much attention to myself, but if I do get attention I hope that I deserve it for actually doing something good. Anyways, On my birthday I woke up around 10 or so since it was a Saturday. I proceeded to just kinda mess around in my dorm, study for my Calc 3 test, and watch some great basketball games (Kentucky vs. UNC was amazing!). Later that night was a Christmas party at the RFC house. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go, but I figured I might as well do something on my birthday. I proceeded to go to walmart to get a $10 gift since we were playing a dirty santa game at the party. The party was fun, and I got "O, Brother Where 'art Thou" so that was good! After the party I went back to my dorm to study a little before bed. Little did I know that some of the members from the RFC had planned to surprise me with a... well I'm not sure what it was but it had brownies and ice cream on it with a candle. They had wanted to give it to me at the RFC house but hadn't noticed I left so came to my dorm room and sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It was very nice, but I still just felt like there was no reason for it just because it was my birthday, but still it was nice. I still wish I didn't really have a birthday though, or atleast could not celebrate it.
The next big thing was finals week!! I thankfully only had 2 finals this year and they had a full day inbetween them so I wasn't too worried. My first one was my Calc 3 final on Monday morning. This was the only class I was really worried about not getting an A in. I studied probably over 12 hours combined over the weekend, and by test time I was confident. And for good reason, since I got a 99 on it! My other one was Chem 1 on Wednesday night. I only needed like a 40% on it to get an A, so I didn't study quite as much... like 2 hours. But I still got an 85% on it so it was all good. I packed up all my stuff on Thursday night and proceeded to make the trip back home for the break ready to relax and enjoy time with my family, who would soon be getting a new member.
Which brings me to the last big thing that capped of the year, the birth of my nephew, James (Jimmer) Carney. My sister went to the hospital around 3 I think on December 27th. I stayed at home for a while and headed to the hospital around 11 with my dad, who had been working. We waited there til I believe around 6 or 7 hours with my grandma, uncle and aunt, cousin, and my brother-in-laws family would had been coming to visit that day (good timing). He was a big boy and defiantly a cute one too. He is a handful, as all newborns are, but precious. I can't wait til he gets big enough for me to play with him and teach him how to call the hogs and play ball!
So that was the end of my year. I've loved being at home and being able to hang out with all of my old friends. So, how was the year overall? Well, it's been interesting. I went through my last semester of high school and graduated, met great new friends and lost a couple on the way, recommitted my life to God, became part of a group of people who are some of the most amazing and uplifting people I have ever met and love the all, and of course made some stupid mistakes along the way. But I must say that I believe that I was able to change myself for the better this year, and hope I can continue to do so over the next year and my life. I still get mad at stupid things, forget what is most important sometimes, and forget to recognize the people who do the most for me, but I regret nothing and know what I can do to better myself.
As for my first semester of college, I think that the only good word to describe it was the word I already used, different. I never thought I would bond so much to the RFC group and grow so close to so many people in the group. There are so many wonderful people in the group and I just hope that I can get to know them all more and learn everything I can from them because they all have there own interesting and inspiring stories and I just love to learn from others. Steve, our Campus minister, is such an amazing person and I just love to listen to him speak and I am so thankful for him giving me the chance to show my own abilities as a speaker and leader. I just hope I can continue to be a part of this group and continue to have my faith build and hopefully help as many people as I can.
Outside of the RFC group, college was still different. Classes really weren't as hard as I thought they would be. And I'm not trying to brag or say they weren't hard, but having taken physics and calc my junior year I was scared going into calc 3 and physics 2, but it turned out to not be too bad. Those two classes were also where I got to connect with someone I now consider to be one of my best friends, even though he always acts like he hates me. I see it as kind of a Dr. Cox, J.D. kinda relationship, him being cruel and funny while I just look for his respect. Okay, maybe not quite like it, but somewhat haha.
Dorm life can also only be described as different. Me and my roommate don't really do anything together, but it works perfect. We talk a bit when we are both in the room, get along great, and have yet to have any problems so it's good. My research is really different as well. My faculty mentor is super laid back and seems to kinda work on his own time, which is okay, but sometimes frustrating. My parent is pretty much a perfect match for me, we are most of the time on the same level and she usually does more work than me without noticing so I love it! Overall though, I would say thing being different was for the best, because it provided me with a chance to not just tell myself I told you so and drift along, but rather live each day looking for a new experience.
So with the arrival of 2012, what lies ahead for me? I'm not really sure, but one thing I do know is that I'm going to try to live it with a positive attitude in whatever I do. Mondays are made better by We're Alive Season 3, Tuesdays devo, Wednesday church, Thursday basketball night, Friday starts the weekend, Saturday is a day for anything, and Sunday for God, so why not be happy for everyday I have to live here on this Earth. People in this world have so many worries that float in their mind that get them down, so why can't I be the person to give them the hug they need to keep going? Since I don't see a reason why not, I guess that I will just keep smiling. (Sorry for the long wait)
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