All my life I feel like I've been trying to find answers. Answers to my purpose, to where I'm supposed to go, to what I'm supposed to do, who I'm supposed to talk to or be with. I've looked for answers in my parents, my friends, my preacher, and others around me. I thought I had looked for them in the word, but as I have found out during this past year, I don't think I ever truly did. I would think that God was just supposed to come out and slap me in the face or yell at me, and when he didn't I would just give up on him. However, I truly think that this past year has made me not only begin to search out answers in his word, but also understand them and my relationship with God in a whole new light, and I am so thankful for that.
In John 6: 68-69, Peter says to Jesus after he asks the twelve if the will leave him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God." Peter knew that all of the things of this life will fade, but our belief in God and relationship with him is something that will never cease. People nowadays try to find comfort and solace in their jobs, relationships, wealth, or any other numerous things that in the end will mean utterly nothing. I read Peter's question and realize it is one that I have asked numerous times, but never had the answer he did, or at least until these past couple years. Now, it's so amazing to me how I couldn't ever see that God was there all along.
Our God is an awesome God. He continually surprises me with the things he blesses me with in this life that I know I don't deserve at all. He has given me a wonderful place to worship in the RFC ministry. He has given me so many good friends who care for me and love me so much I can't even begin to think about it sometimes because I don't understand it. He does so many little things for me, like giving me time alone like tonight when I know I need it, or choosing to not give me time alone when I want it because it's much better for me if I talk it out. He is always there to listen to me even if no one else is around. He love is unconditional and amazing. Words can't even begin to describe what he has done for me in my life and how awesome he is.
Ephesians 3:18-19, Paul prays for the Ephesians that they may "grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge..." The love God has for us is truly something we cannot comprehend. The fact that we can fail so many times and yet he still pours out his grace and mercy for us is just so amazing. Half the time I can't even being to think why some people in this life care for me like they do, let alone God. But I do know this, that God, as it says in Revelation 22:13, is "the Alpha and the Omega." He is everything that this world has to offer and everything I will ever need. And that, my friends, is something that fills my heart with joy and puts a smile on my face.
